At this age, Ru-Jun now must act through will to change, to become more mature, at least in part. It’s no longer spontaneous, like when she was younger. Something like being able to get herself to sleep, which he is still not good at, requires a few things: desire to do it, which is intellectual, true fatigue, and a sense of comfort. The latter two have always been required since infancy. The first one controls it all now and it’s a skill that only comes from long practice. I think a lot of things follow a set of requirements like this, mixtures of infantile factors and intellectual will. She has the intellect to both want the mature behavior and realize why we want her to do it. But casting off the infantile desire for comfort and inability to comfort herself, are things that she has a hard time doing, and even when thinking, a hard time wanting to do. She has experienced personal paradise – it was when she was an infant and had all her needs taken care of by us and could experience true security, comfort, and pleasure. Leaving that is really hard.
Change in the thinking child December 29, 2013