In that nothing bad that the kid does is ever a surprise to anyone. There’s nothing new. Everything has been done before. Everything has been tried before, by both kid and parent. “Of course she is going to do that. She is 4.” Or whatever. “She’s a Daddy’s girl.” A lot of this is b.s. and people saying it because there’s nothing else to say. And whatever accountability there is falls on the parent, not the kid.
In my case, parenting is also existential, which places it between modernism and postmodernism. We’ve had a lot of help. But ultimately Shian-Ren and I are alone in this situation. And we are each alone, in ourselves. I have this general view about life (and had it before any of this happened).