Going wel. Pump off tomorrow. Then a break.
Balance July 22, 2014
One of Ru-Jun’s biggest issues is balance. It’s part of the sort of being one with her physical world and not separate from it that I talked about a while back. She likes leaning against things and people even (or especially) if they are unstable. I think balance issues are preventing her from learning how to ride a bike (even with training wheels; it’s not that positive an experience for her and she doesn’t try very often) and most recently, her scooter (she just doesn’t have the hang of it).
Infusion schedule July 21, 2014
Shian-Ren is scheduled for her 4th infusion tomorrow. Yesterday we went in to check her white count and it was low so they gave her a neopogen. We are going in a little while to check it today and she will get another shot if she needs it. If not we will go tomorrow and if it is good she will get the infusion. Otherwise the schedule will be redone maybe she can get it later in the week.
I won’t specify what triggered it, but I was feeling angry, jealous of others, and a bunch of other despair. It definitely reflected in how I interacted with Shian-Ren and Ru-Jun the whole day. Toward the end of the day I acknowledged this to both of them and apologized. I felt much better yesterday so I think it was a bit of a cleanse to go through that. Not that I want to again any time soon.
A Crock July 20, 2014
I’ve had several different people tell me recently that Ru-Jun’s negative emotional outbursts are signs that she trusts me to see all of her emotions and let them out. I’m sorry but this sounds like a massive oversimplification. No way is that cognition going on consciously and I highly doubt whether there is a subconscious mechanism that approximates that logic.
Ru-Jun has been wanting to do showers more often and more independently these days. Tonight she took one (after taking one last night; usually we wait at least two nights for the next one) with the only help from me being starting the water and getting the temp right. She did everything else during and afterward. If she can get into a daily or almost-daily habit with this (have to get to reasonable water use, which will take a while) well before puberty, that will be a very positive development.
Friday we had a playdate with one of Ru-Jun’s friends from aftercare, then swim lessons and art lessons. All went well. Yesterday we did various playground stuff and hung out at home a bit. Today we went for Shian-Ren’s cbc to check her white count (it was low so she got Neupogen and we will check tomorrow; next infusion is scheduled for Tuesday but that could change). In the afternoon we did playground. Ru-Jun only said she hated me once today; a sign of a pretty good day.